Boy oh boy, was that ever one of those things that make you say:
WOW!
Like when you go to the circus and the lion eats that dude with the top hat and the kids think it’s all part of the show so they all start cheering? Yeah, that kind of thing:
WOW!
I mean I’ve been some places and seen some stuff, sure, but never in the type of place where you see this kind of stuff, no way. At least not until today. And all I’ve got to say is this:
WOW!
Listen, I don’t want to waste your time setting it all up but a driblet of context or whatever they call it is definitely in order so it starts a bit like this:
I was down at Thee Hott Dogg Shakk having a hot dog and standing there at the mustard shelf and thinking about a dream I had had:
There was this balloon and it was floating in the foggy dew low above the bog and this weird dude was over off to the side having a one man picnic which seemed kind of lonely until I looked a bit closer and saw that he was having a whale of a good time hooting and hollering and cramming chips into his mouth and chugging lemonade and there was a broiled chicken there too but he wasn’t champing on it but was singing to it which was crazy because the dude had an electric dulceticity to his voice that was wild and he was spitting out a blizzard of wet masticated chunks of chip and soda with his crooning and the lyrics went:
boggin it
boggin’ it
down at the bog
i’m in the bog
cause i be boggin it
boggin it hard
in the bog
i’m a man who’s moist
and muddy
the bog is my very best buddy
my friend is a bog
i love the bog
in fact i’m going to marry it
the bog
and on our wedding night
we’ll make love
i’ll slide my penis into the
bog
and thrust so hard that the
mud gets wet
and all the
bogs
in the world
go off
with orgasms so hard
that they all turn to stone
and then me bog
me wife
me buddy
is a pit of gravel
that stings my dink
my dink
it stinks
it’s more red
than pink
and the sex must stop
or my penis will fall off
and the gravel becomes
my lover in the night
and i’ll never leave it
no way
i promise my love
to the gravel
little stones of love
love love
forever
i love you gravel
I’ll miss you bog
(It was kinda like a more masculine version of reggae, if that helps)
And then:
The dude grabbed the broiled chicken and peeled off his sweatsuit and slipped into the swamp that all of a sudden was there instead of the picnic blanket and picnic basket and cornhole and stuff and just swam away into the sunset and then:
I woke up and then:
I came out of my reverie at the mustard shelf and then:
I ate my hot dog and then:
I said:
WOW!
Because that sure was a tasty hot dog. Credit to the nescient old crank working the stand that made it, that’s for sure.
And then:
The end